September 17, 2005
the happiness of junior, junior mints
Hello, my name is Bryomaniac. Some of you may know me as Byro or By. Others of you may think you know me just simply as –maniac. Oh, would that the subtleties of unspeakable truths not reveal themselves to you so brutally, in names: halved. The rest of you really do know me as that, more than oft-times, blowhard, sarcastic bastard in your neighbourhood, in your nay bohr hoo-ud, and office cube as your less than sometimes sweet, bedroom-eyed baratone sounding, self-paced study module, host voice. To you I say nothing less than: "YO! MY PEEPS, DAWGS, yo'AHL da BOMBS DUDES!" I AM, I say again for your clarification, the people that you meet as you're walking down the street, I AM the people that you meet each daaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!
Initiating an inevitable (by human nature’s fate) junior-junior mint feeding frenzy. To bring to bear said sweet blended feast full brimmingly, just so, toward a better understanding of your direct fore & agin (against), your anticipated weak-need knee’d, knead attempt at surpassing the diaphragm-collapsing abruptness with which I will momentarily stomach punch you: my quals and XP, I herefore-to-with stomach punch you with: my quals and XP…. OOOOHAAAAA!!!! THE YOUBLEEP-PEAD BLEEEPS MA-BLEEEP KORE!!!
Gentle tribal folk, permit me but a few small blights o' tan wastage, on the respective, pristine, bright white quintessence’s of all your illustrious, industrious & meaningful careers…. Lend me your full attention PLEASE, while I stand here before you today and lean heavily upon the aid of this sanctuary of learning’s inherent ability to soak your brain with ALL that, which, I have - advertantly - left out. Bound myself, by a strict code of silence when it comes to speaking ever so convincingly knowledgeably about all those things so glaringly unknown to me as confessor to a Doctorate, or unremembered, at least, at hand, by me, (although easily covered for, under careful consideration of the blase' attitude with which I choose to refer to recent 'readings' of the amass-ed technical literature pile upon which my modern methods so freely float'n'bob), re: the subject at hand, that would indeed reach the toothpick tip of the Burj Dubai were it infact to have been built, at this time, in our given scenario. Old Mcdonald had a farm ee ay ee ay ee ay oh and on that farm he had a free and easy manner of making noise, ee ay ee ay oh, with a neigh neigh here and a hehaw, hehaw there, here a quack there a cluck, every where a ruff, meow, ee ay ee ay oh (freely float'n'bob's the idea. Now grab your partner, spin them round..., etc.).
In the meantime, getting back to the authority by which I stand up here, expounding raw menial’s meat morsels of marketable great benefit to all of you my smart dressed pyoops - morsels yet to endure the searing effect of a gruelling grilling and becoming, only then, fit for feeding to masses from high stages of life. Moving yet on, I ever so gingerly hold a Diploma in ‘Engineering Chugg-ology’ specializing in ‘knockin’em back’ from the Absolute Blue Poly-tech, the pride and pinnicle of Finland’s: ‘lacking-the-necessary-secondary-cert.and will-to-make-it-to-real-university’ education system. I hold as well, a mature student’s version of a B.Sc. in Slurrology (the science of ‘silkening’ your words) from Abysinthe U., a very land-based Research sort of University, located in anywhere BUT Old New Delhi. I earned a post grad M.Sc. from Tequila U., Mexico City, Mexico, by part-time evening courses alone, majoring in their Courvoisour XO's VSPO program, that is: philosophical and social systems engineering program. What we learned: how to continuously consider, while lying on the beach, enjoying a beautiful evening's sunset, how to build up and modify the natures of things yet unbuilt and unmodifyed in this world, then get up and do absolutely f'all about it, while earning money. And ALSO, as if that weren't taxing enough on our bold and youthful brains of the day, we learned how to continuously and willingly enter the various forms and states of being that are said to exist in 'the mist', as it were.
Oh, by the by, IAM a certified, Erin Go Bragh (& bring us six simple JD black-labels wid ya dis time me lad! Be kwik aboot id!), hangover and hurl consultant, I am too, specializing in the painless streamlining of all your organization’s chunder and chunk-blowing processes, towards an increase in the capacity to WOW even wits-end investors, I'll have you know....
Publishable? You bet your bony writer's arse it is! Get wid it den!
This is a self-paced study module, you may exit at any time…
Initiating an inevitable (by human nature’s fate) junior-junior mint feeding frenzy. To bring to bear said sweet blended feast full brimmingly, just so, toward a better understanding of your direct fore & agin (against), your anticipated weak-need knee’d, knead attempt at surpassing the diaphragm-collapsing abruptness with which I will momentarily stomach punch you: my quals and XP, I herefore-to-with stomach punch you with: my quals and XP…. OOOOHAAAAA!!!! THE YOUBLEEP-PEAD BLEEEPS MA-BLEEEP KORE!!!
Gentle tribal folk, permit me but a few small blights o' tan wastage, on the respective, pristine, bright white quintessence’s of all your illustrious, industrious & meaningful careers…. Lend me your full attention PLEASE, while I stand here before you today and lean heavily upon the aid of this sanctuary of learning’s inherent ability to soak your brain with ALL that, which, I have - advertantly - left out. Bound myself, by a strict code of silence when it comes to speaking ever so convincingly knowledgeably about all those things so glaringly unknown to me as confessor to a Doctorate, or unremembered, at least, at hand, by me, (although easily covered for, under careful consideration of the blase' attitude with which I choose to refer to recent 'readings' of the amass-ed technical literature pile upon which my modern methods so freely float'n'bob), re: the subject at hand, that would indeed reach the toothpick tip of the Burj Dubai were it infact to have been built, at this time, in our given scenario. Old Mcdonald had a farm ee ay ee ay ee ay oh and on that farm he had a free and easy manner of making noise, ee ay ee ay oh, with a neigh neigh here and a hehaw, hehaw there, here a quack there a cluck, every where a ruff, meow, ee ay ee ay oh (freely float'n'bob's the idea. Now grab your partner, spin them round..., etc.).
In the meantime, getting back to the authority by which I stand up here, expounding raw menial’s meat morsels of marketable great benefit to all of you my smart dressed pyoops - morsels yet to endure the searing effect of a gruelling grilling and becoming, only then, fit for feeding to masses from high stages of life. Moving yet on, I ever so gingerly hold a Diploma in ‘Engineering Chugg-ology’ specializing in ‘knockin’em back’ from the Absolute Blue Poly-tech, the pride and pinnicle of Finland’s: ‘lacking-the-necessary-secondary-cert.and will-to-make-it-to-real-university’ education system. I hold as well, a mature student’s version of a B.Sc. in Slurrology (the science of ‘silkening’ your words) from Abysinthe U., a very land-based Research sort of University, located in anywhere BUT Old New Delhi. I earned a post grad M.Sc. from Tequila U., Mexico City, Mexico, by part-time evening courses alone, majoring in their Courvoisour XO's VSPO program, that is: philosophical and social systems engineering program. What we learned: how to continuously consider, while lying on the beach, enjoying a beautiful evening's sunset, how to build up and modify the natures of things yet unbuilt and unmodifyed in this world, then get up and do absolutely f'all about it, while earning money. And ALSO, as if that weren't taxing enough on our bold and youthful brains of the day, we learned how to continuously and willingly enter the various forms and states of being that are said to exist in 'the mist', as it were.
Oh, by the by, IAM a certified, Erin Go Bragh (& bring us six simple JD black-labels wid ya dis time me lad! Be kwik aboot id!), hangover and hurl consultant, I am too, specializing in the painless streamlining of all your organization’s chunder and chunk-blowing processes, towards an increase in the capacity to WOW even wits-end investors, I'll have you know....
Publishable? You bet your bony writer's arse it is! Get wid it den!
This is a self-paced study module, you may exit at any time…
