July 12, 2006
Intended Ascension
Here and now the day is filled with a shift into neutral. ‘Coast’ is the order and word of the day. Students have all but gone. Mental gymnastics need to be employed in order to stave off the ‘shamal’ of boredom that whistles through the emptiness of a well-staffed, empty institute of learning. Without students present, and with such a wind blowing full knot wise, the mood is - wait and see - what happens next.
Last year was different as there was at least a drummed up, semi-legit target to shoot towards; progress yourselves towards the completion of a final version of a new curriculum in this subject that fascinates ever. This year, that collective motivation towards a target, any target no longer exists. Sheikh ordered restructuring looms dark grey overhead and pervades and dictates every little move collectively and individually from here on in, seems. And so individual mental gymnastics needs become the centering ‘will-producer’ in this present game of keeping a professional modicum of actualities in deliverables vs. fantasies in the realms of dream jobs, that is, the ultimate look-busy-do-nothing position.
With no target and but at least notification of when is my actual end date, finally, in terms of future prospects what else is there to do but F the D? I suppose I could act the part, show initiative, drum up a project to complete make work for myself and perhaps those around with less dose of cynicism flowing through their veins at this time. No. Better not to stick my neck out and show to the boys in uniform the depth to which the blankness of nothin’ doin’ does go. Besides, there are many facets of ‘drift’ through these dole-drums yet to navigate, appreciate, and mull.
For example, ____________________________________________________ ....
So then instead my language of keyboard to screen transmission of thought occurs with single-minded innovation of word. Why? The alternative is numbness of mind and encroachment of lackadaisical languishing, the hour of closing too eagerly anticipated. Enjoy then, and therefore the moments of seeming nothingness passing. Plan nothing less than your future, man.
There is something sinisterly soothing about being in the hands of the notice givers who have to this point over-looked me in this regard. Yet I am sure as the 200 odd that have already had their fates sealed that there is definite reason for my no-less-than paranoiac, under girding belief of serene finality even in the passing moments of waiting for the seemingly imminently inevitable.
What company culture, I ask you politely, is employed in a restructuring of a desert base? This remains a mystery to me. Buildings of purpose close their doors around us and yet this building, this one here, with its unique equipment and stock of severely smart personnel remains quite normally open. As if it believed itself to be self-sustainable to the next century or millennium if we as a race make it that far.
How does one focus on skills and experience that are supposed to ensure a certain level of earning power at the end of one stint while steadily yet rote-wise, still reeling, in the midst of seeking another stint? With family depending on you and waiting for the solid shift to the next higher plane or at least a plane of an equivalent combination of package, responsibility, and veritable assess ability. Suddenly there are bigger things to consider, wider loads to manoeuvre through your docking gates of life.
Perhaps these days, poetry, prose, and art are really the more lucrative option. Perhaps now, in the game of thought process prowess display, the creation of highly saleable quoth he’s and ingenious copy-writable groupings of whence forth and henceforth never grouped in such manner, such words, should surely be as well or better compensated than the engineered language of emerging and long since emerged technology should it not?
Wed July 12, 2006
And here the end of another comes nigh. The week was a goodie. Flew. Really. Why? Because of discovery of, realisation of, motivation. On Saturday I got my notice by Wednesday I had pocketed not only 3150 dhs (approx) from this Boss-forsaken zone but as well an extra 1020 from the moonlighter special. And the moonlighter special Boss also went hisself overboard and offered me a full time gig. Imagine the deep feeling of satisfaction that had then and there welled up in this writer’s soul…. Unfortunately, the moonlighters special become full time gig at most will bring 11000. Not enough to keep a full set of disposable diapers on the young’n nor not near enough to take care of learnin’ the older one.
In the mean time, no serious searching yet on my part though for those types of positions that quell the thirst for the explication of roaring birds as it were. What? Never heard of them before? Yes, they are fascinating and huge and roar. That’s all I’m saying.
Head in books for two years, refresher on the subject at hand, the opportunity to read full on a curriculum filled with the stuff of actually catching a break; a leg up, finally.
What are we talking here? We’re talking a real industry job is what we’re talking here. A potentially large enough package to make it worth’s one’s while to don the "covies" again and get in on the hangar floor action again.
Hell-dwelling snakes posing as soops of this and that thing they don’t have a f’ing clue about, it’s both comforting and disconcerting at the same time, to converse with men 15, 20 years your senior and be able to understand very quickly on, that you, my man, know at least twice as much as they do about TECHNICALLY how it should all come together.
However let not their poseur filth bother your intended ascension my dear one. Chronic fibbers too can be used as stepping stones. Continue on then. Say exactly what you think still, loudly. Express exactly how you feel when confronted by widespread ignorance, lack of technical knowledge, secrecy and brown politicking.
